Tupac Is Alive

There is a lot of conspiracy theories about 2Pac or as I like to call him 2Ply. Something about him realeasing more album  postmortem than while he was alive, and all that shpiel.

I know one thing. 2Pac is alive, I just saw him at the mall shopping at Banana Republic, which in itself indicates that he must not only be alive but have some loot, after all it wasn’t Old Navy which was next door, and which has great bargains.

Now I’m on the lookout for Elvis and I ordered the same from my grandparents who are frequent visitors of Home Town Buffet chains.

Lets keep our eyes open!

My New Haircut

So for a week now all of my friends (nerd, goons, geeks mostly) are talking about “My New Haircut” on YouTube. So finally today I had a brain fart and looked it up… well, I don’t see why everyone thinks it’s so hilarious. Hmmm but even though I think it’s crap, here it is (again) have a looksy:


Crap Huh?

Funny Motivational Posters


Every now and then I need to inspire myself to get up in the morning. Whats a better inspiration than googling motivational posters at the early crack of noon, 10 minutes before work time? Nothing! So google no more and check these babies out!

Enjoy!

Bambi Crapping Bambies… I can’t even explain this Bible Spoiler… you may want not to click on this one! Black Link from Zelda… now this crap is funny DVD Rewinder… Its genious!
Excercise? I think not! These trees are funny, and homo maybe too Goatse… need I say more? Grand Theft Auto Bonding Families For Years!
I don’t blame you kid Nintendo Wii and your weird grandpa Pimping ain’t easy Prison Rape”>Prison Rape Pulling Out Method LOL Hitting Rock Bottom Surprise Butt Sex Do 30% of women do not know how to write correctly also?

Here is some more of them!

And here’s few motivational posters available only Exclusivly on Chimbles.com

Look Back at High School

No Bully Zone SignSo you have problems in school. No one likes you and they say you smell, that is probably true but they don’t have to be so rude as point it out in your face and throw an old sneaker your way. But do not worry, Chimbles went through the same struggle, well but I was on the other side of the fence… I was a bully, and not because I like molesting kids out of their lunch money, or just to randomly makes lifes miserable, I was simply bored. Sure examining a fetal pig took most of the students six months, but I managed to do it in one day… what else should I do with my time than, other than throw pig intestines into the community jar of mayo that was always there in the cafeteria… mayo gives me the poops.

But I did not come here to brag, no sir! I came to cheer you up, and perhaps at the same time limit the number of emos out there. See for all those cool kids in H.S., the jocks, and cheerleaders this is it. That’s it, it’s the apex of their life. Sure they are a High School superstar but after that get use to see them pack your groceries in the local food mart. And you know what? Those people somehow never made it to even be allowed to stand at the reggi ringing people out. Maybe they just get so good with that “Paper or Plastic”… I dunno.

Boo emo crying Cheer Up EmoLooking back, all those hot cheerleaders that I could only dream about, and all those cool football players I wanted to hang out with… well, they somehow got ugly, fat, trailer thrashy, and just not fun to be around with. most of them still drive the same cars, and probably wear the same underwear. It’s funny how that clique never broke apart, even after High School and some attempt at college. I find it quite funny when I look up my old classmates on MySpace and they still have the same old friends they always had, never moved on and are just general failures.

So cheer up my emo friend, even if you never succeed at being a firefighter, a jet pilot or important business(wo)man; most likely noone will point their fingers at you and laugh behind your back. No one had any expectations of you so you can smoothly sail through life even if you don’t amount to nothing. It’s those cocky ones that get really slapped in the face with reality.

A video not for women

Ha ha ha this guy sings the truth (and the beat is hot)! Check it!

United States of Obesity

Following up on the story where it was miraculously found out that U.S. may have lost its first place as the leader of the fattest population, I have been doing the research of identifying which states are slacking off. I mean, dollar is getting weak, we fudged up in Iraq… in couple words the U.S. is loosing its grip on leading the world on everything. How are we suppose to stick our fat nose everywhere, if we now don’t have the weight to throw behind it. Slowly but surely we are losing respect in all corners of the world.

With new curbing of the use of trans fats, legislated by the silly politicians, that probably never even realized that by signing their stupid acts they are also putting the U.S. behind the world. Dear politicians please evaluate your behavior!

United States of Obesity
 
Above is the map of where fat people live. It’s nice to see that Mississippi still knows how to keep it real. But here comes the hard part; you know I never ask you guys for anything more than to read my blog and then reflect on your life, but this time is different. I need YOU to adopt a state. Hear me out! Look at the map, and identify one of the states marked in green. Pick a state you like, or you hate, or just pick a state. Then look through your coupon circular, or run to McD’s and get some discount rebates on the most unhealthy, fatty, food you can find. Stuff that stuff in an envelope. Google for address of random person in your chosen state, and send them all the coupons; you can include a letter if you wish. Sure you will be out of a stamp, but thats a small price to pay to bring U.S.A. to #1 spot again. GO GET THEM!

Going to hell for laughing

Josh Blue, a stand up comedian with cerebral palsy and some great talent. Now here is an excuse to laugh at a disabled person, and possibly not go to hell for it… check it.

Universal Health care

Nation divided we stand on the health care issue… well nation divided we stand on all issues. I’m yet to see the nation stand united in any matter. I guess it all boils down to the root, i.e. self entitlement, few realize that their point of view is worth a squat unless they are in the higher spheres of the society, and I will bet my boots that no one reading this can say I belong to the high class. Simple fact, high class individuals call their orders from their yachts and probably don’t browse Chimbles.com

So we have this issue of universal health care, funny business it is. I’m yet somewhat stunned that anyone would get up and shout “I want to pay through the ass for healthcare, I’m a American and thats my God given right.” I’m not going to even go and dissect that sentence and tell you whats wrong with it… would be a waste of time, and megahertz of Chimbles.com

Some sick mofo with some hunnies!The biggest arguments given by the… well uneducated rednecks who mostly get their health care subsidized by the government is that 1) “I don’t want to pay government for health care” 2) “See the long lines to clinics and Canada?” or “My cousin over there yonder in England had a splinter in his finger went to a doctor and had to wait so long for X ray it done and killed him.”

1) “I don’t want to pay government for health care” - So you rather line the pockets of private fat cats out there? I know that government is not that good with managing monies, but either way they do it will still be better than 100’s of insurance companies out there, playing favorites with their chummy friends at the hospital. Ever heard of synergy, or streamlining everything? One health care accepted everywhere. Your redneck butt wont have to waste so much gas driving your tractor around the county trying to find a hospital that is in your network. And then when your hospitalization is done with, you wouldn’t be surprised by those random bills that show up in your mailbox… ohh sorry that was not covered sir!

2) “See the long lines to clinics and Canada?” or “My cousin over there yonder in England had a splinter in his finger went to a doctor and had to wait so long for X ray it done and killed him.” - Lets get the obvious out of the way first: 1) You haven’t seen those lines either 2) You don’t have a cousin in England as your family tree never branched out of deep south… or even your farm so shut it! So now we are pretending that we don’t have waits with privatized health care now? Please, not only you have to wait till your busy doctor finds a spot in the appointment book, but you have to go through 3 huge ass books, and/or call your insurance just to make sure the doctor you want to see is covered.

Some Sick Redneck Chick Throwing ChunksSo once again U.S. lets go all redneck once again (remember W. Bush?) and shoot ourself in the foot. Farmers, and lazy people still will have insurance by government, with you unknowingly carrying them on your shoulders, be happy and pay your employer to provide health care… after all it seems like its FREE right? Durr durr

Buy American!

You know me, I’m real anal about stuff… so I got an idea for another post by just sitting there in traffic, counting cars with only drivers in it… and lo and behold, something else grabbed my attention. It was the influx of stickers that read:

Buy American Sticker

I giggled… after all why would I be influenced by a sticker on a dirty car to buy something? And which America are they talking about? plus I’m not quite sure what quality product Mexico exports into here? Thousands of questions and no answer… thus I was lost in my own thoughts, only to be interrupted by the radio, securely duct taped to the handlebars of my moped. It was National Public Radio, and definitely not by choice, but the dial was stuck on that frequency ever since I found the radio unit on the side of the road. I wonder why would someone throw it out?Regardless of the point, the radio was babbling about the falling price of the dollar. The good old greenback no longer green enough for us supposedly. Tough luck, I have thought while shifting the moped from 2nd to 3rd and gaining insane speeds.Made In U.S.A (not America)But wait a minute, falling prices could be good after all. Didn’t people complain like little wusses that they are that our exports are weak because of the dollar. Well, perhaps not to many regular people complained as the grasp on economy, and geographics of the fact that there are other countries outside our borders are quite minimal amongst the general population… so it was more of scholars and politicians that blamed problems on low exports. Something about money leaving the U.S… I forget, but now they got their wish, and there is even more crying about it.But long story short, I thought to myself… well now exports will be booming and more money will enter the market and thus more jobs etc etc. Well two things that irked me, was 1) U.S. made products are not made in U.S. 2) WTF do we produce that is useful, and others would need?

To answer irk number 1: well it’s a known fact that most of corporations that are incorporated in U.S. actually utilize foreign markets to build products. Remember that whole fiasco about Made In U.S.A. tools that turned out to only have that sticker put on stateside, while the rest was built using foreign purchased goods, by foreign hands on foreign land! Redneck don’t know, he will only look at the sticker and buy a tool smiling all the way back to the trailer park.

Irk #2: I came out with a list of popular items that are supposedly manufactured in U.S.A. Now, I don’t know if they are really manufactured here, and I dont care to do the research to find out, but for the sake of the argument lets just assume they are. So here is just a few that were on my mind: Cigarettes (especially Marlboro), McDonalds, Soda Pop, Army equipment (Abram, jests, etc.) Now I’m sure some of you will be like “Well Chimbles did you know that U.S. is the largest producer and exporter of Chydrocloridefenguside?” No, I did not know that and I do not care. I’m talking about everyday products that most of people would come in contact with. Well, I hope you dont come in contact with Abrams tanks, but what you do is your own business.

I propose this bumper sticker - Buy American The Life You Save May Be Your Own

Do you see what I’m aiming at? Most of the products that we manufacture are utter crap. Cigarettes kill, Soda gives you tooth decay, McDonalds kills too, only the army jets are nice enough to drop care packages. Is it me, or is it clearly evident that this whole dollar drop wont do crap but put us in further depression. Heck U.S. cant even put out product out there that would not try to kill it’s users. And then we see everyone with their mouths gaped open, and scratching heads, why U.S. has such a bad rep out there.So be patriotic, buy U.S. made… do U.S. all a favor and crap out just after your productivity starts to decline, the society will appreciate not paying your retirement and Social Security.

Girls of Euro 2008


Back by popular demand! (I knew you would like)

Very yummie Angel at Euro 2008 Check out the melons on that chick She has a cute face Another very delicious face Smile Girl Smile
Euro 2008 HOT Blond Four Hot Girls at Euro 08 Mami In a Bikini Girl licking Lips Babe Showing Her Ass to Euro Spectators
Very Hot Chick Portugese Cutie Screaming Hottie is she screaming for ice cream? Smiling Cutie @ Euro 08 Swedish Fish at Euro 2008
Sweet Lips on a Cutie Tanned Teen Cutie Two Blond Teens two Cute Brunettes Wet T-shirt Contest at Euro 2008
Do not fear Chimbles is near! Did you like those pics? Well here are some more:
Euro 2008 Hotties #1
Euro 2008 Hotties #2

ENJOY!