Chimble’s Nightly Doodles

If you are anything like me you could give two craps about the Summer Olympics. Triathlons, what are those? Swimming around, or just getting wet in general is not that appealing either. How are those skills useful anyways? well perhaps if you are training to be a criminal, then I see how having those skills could help you out escaping justice. On the other hand chicks like guys with skills, or so Napoleon Dynamite proclaimed.

However as a chief writer for this awesome blog I feel obligated to at least mention something. After all I wouldn’t like the ladies to think I’m heartless… but they should know that already judging by the vast amounts of fat people hate entries I have on here.

So let’s see what those great Olympics have netted for us:

Here we have a marathon runner. I admire those dudes and the ladies too. I for one can not grasp the reason to run around and sweat just for kicks and giggles. Anyways, this pictures looks innocent enough in a minimized form, but click it and BAAAAAM it’s kicked up a notch. Now, if I ever was asked to define determination, this would be a picture I would point to. Sure crap happens, but don’t let little things stop you in your tracks… slush slush slush Keep on running my man, keep on running for the gold as it seems you have already pretty much secured the bronze!! Do I need to mention that expressions on everyone’s faces are just golden?

I believe everyone has tuned in to watch the ladies swim. No one however gave a crap if they come in first or last, or if they even make it to the other end of the pool. The males all over the world tuned in to watch some lasses in bikinis. I guess I can see why not, after all seeing them in real life would require the effort of getting out of the house and driving to the beach, or the city pool or countless other places to see half naked ladies… i.e. the mall. I have also tuned in… but my reasons were less perverse in nature, after all that was the only station my coat hanger antenna picks up. I did however notice that, the ladies looked pretty much rough in the face department. I think its a standard procedure for them to keep their heads in a vise when they are not practicing randomly moving their arms and legs to float to safety.

Acrobatics - From all the disciplines out there I think I like acrobatics the best. First and foremost unlike everyone out there I’m into the dark art of Ninjutsu, and other crazy methods of decapitating someone with some dental floss. Unfortunately there was no real violence going on at the Olympics but I heard through the grapevine that outside of the village there was plenty of ass kicking going around. Mainly police vs the lazy protesters, and I call them lazy because its obvious that they are not at work when they are protesting. Anyways, I’m glad that the spirit of full contact baton beating, and general sportmanship spirit still lives on. Also I like acrobatics for the fact that Swedish Swen that also wins the tough man competitions, is standing there in one piece suit, prancing around like a girl. LOL @ you Swen!

Cycling is in the same domain as running, as far as I’m concerned. With reality being that you can pick up a semi working car cheaper than a good bike it is just dumb to practice sweating.Well unless you do it in style, like the dude in the pic. Sure he probably can’t get laid, but he has a cool bike he assembled from an old Huffy and a mannequin he found in the dumpster behind Target.I wonder if he is skilled enough to do a stoppie on that bike, and not break the titties off the mannequin.

Wrestling is just a general failure of sportsmanship. It fails all around and the best proof is that WWF crap and Hulk Hogan and his whole family. Sure that stuff may not be real wrestling, but real wrestling is not that much better. Just take a peeksy at the picture at the left. The only cool thing is that the red player is wearing some nice Asics I wouldn’t mind rockin’ but that’s about it. There is also that finger in the butt move, but as funny as it looks, I think there is a lot of that stuff going on in that discipline, especially after the matches… in the shower.

Last but not least lets check out the Olympics Fashion.
Olympic Fashion, in 2008 it seemed that cancer seems to dominate the 10 on the scale of cool, but what will next years bring us? I thing Armstrong with his LiveLong bracelet coolness has kicked something off. I wonder if he even realized that he was on to something… like starting the next biggest fad of having fat obese people feel obligated to wear spandex just because they bike. I giggle a bit when I pass sweaty fatties in a tight fitting clothing cycling around my town. First of all they are no match to my moped, and second of all I’m not limited in what I can wear.

In summation the Summer Olympics in Beijing sucked balls. So Phelps won couple medals, big deal! There are soldiers fighting for our freedoms int he foreign lands and that dude is just chilling in the pool looking all Lurch, I would like to see if he can even toss a grenade through kindergarten schoolhouse window.

Categories : Chimbles News, People are crazy! //