But I gotta give McCain and the Republicans some props, they deserve them. Sarah Palin is the best choice ever. Sure there was Hillary somewhere in there couple months back, but she didn’t hook us up with any nudes (l33t: N00dZ)… Sarah Palin on the other hand has these cool pictures that she will make into psoters later on this month. Chaaaaa ching, you go babe! And I’m sure she is ready to reward the nation with some more skin if she wins. Now McCain… well who is he anyways?

Enjoy

Why Cosmo you ask? Well, Cosmo is just pure comedy gold disguised as help magazine for women. Guys know its a lady mag so they try to stay away to retain their macho attitude. But not me, I’m one of those phantom bathroom dudes. You know the one that’s always int he bathroom no matter what time you go there. Same dude that you see going about the stalls with a rolled up magazine under his arm. That’s right folks, I treat the bathroom at work like my own personal library. It’s a perfect sanctuary… well imaginary sanctuary that is inconveniently located next door to waste disposal facility. But regardless of the facts, I have chosen Cosmo as my bathroom buddy not because of the ladies plastered all over the ads, but because it was fat and thick, and somehow there was a whole bunch of them in the cafeteria.   So now I could afford to sit on the potty for almost an hour and still keep reading versus that 10 minutes it took to read Mad Mag from cover to the foldy cover.

Cosmo reminds me a bit of High Times, as it is apparent that everyone involved in publishing of that crap is high on something. Advice there is written in serious tone, but its so pathetic that it no longer takes any effort to empty my bowels. All I need is to start reading it and then I feel empty… emotionally too. At night I keep praying that all the supposed letters that are printed on there are made up by the crack smoking editors… no way in hell can people be so stupid to air their pathetic skid mark stained laundry in a public view like that.

Seems like every issue offers new and creative ways of “training your man.” Yup man are dogs, and we are the princesses is the moral story every month. Tricks to take half of his ish are on every other page, ways to make your man think and act like you are on the other side of that every page.

I’m telling you guys its comedy diamond in the rough. Pick up a copy, or if you have the balls go to CVS and stand there in the aisle reading it, make sure that the bathroom is close by, because your bowels will let loose and your jaw will be sore from all the laughter.

Check it out (strong language):

However as a chief writer for this awesome blog I feel obligated to at least mention something. After all I wouldn’t like the ladies to think I’m heartless… but they should know that already judging by the vast amounts of fat people hate entries I have on here.

So let’s see what those great Olympics have netted for us:

Here we have a marathon runner. I admire those dudes and the ladies too. I for one can not grasp the reason to run around and sweat just for kicks and giggles. Anyways, this pictures looks innocent enough in a minimized form, but click it and BAAAAAM it’s kicked up a notch. Now, if I ever was asked to define determination, this would be a picture I would point to. Sure crap happens, but don’t let little things stop you in your tracks… slush slush slush Keep on running my man, keep on running for the gold as it seems you have already pretty much secured the bronze!! Do I need to mention that expressions on everyone’s faces are just golden?

I believe everyone has tuned in to watch the ladies swim. No one however gave a crap if they come in first or last, or if they even make it to the other end of the pool. The males all over the world tuned in to watch some lasses in bikinis. I guess I can see why not, after all seeing them in real life would require the effort of getting out of the house and driving to the beach, or the city pool or countless other places to see half naked ladies… i.e. the mall. I have also tuned in… but my reasons were less perverse in nature, after all that was the only station my coat hanger antenna picks up. I did however notice that, the ladies looked pretty much rough in the face department. I think its a standard procedure for them to keep their heads in a vise when they are not practicing randomly moving their arms and legs to float to safety.

Acrobatics - From all the disciplines out there I think I like acrobatics the best. First and foremost unlike everyone out there I’m into the dark art of Ninjutsu, and other crazy methods of decapitating someone with some dental floss. Unfortunately there was no real violence going on at the Olympics but I heard through the grapevine that outside of the village there was plenty of ass kicking going around. Mainly police vs the lazy protesters, and I call them lazy because its obvious that they are not at work when they are protesting. Anyways, I’m glad that the spirit of full contact baton beating, and general sportmanship spirit still lives on. Also I like acrobatics for the fact that Swedish Swen that also wins the tough man competitions, is standing there in one piece suit, prancing around like a girl. LOL @ you Swen!

Cycling is in the same domain as running, as far as I’m concerned. With reality being that you can pick up a semi working car cheaper than a good bike it is just dumb to practice sweating.Well unless you do it in style, like the dude in the pic. Sure he probably can’t get laid, but he has a cool bike he assembled from an old Huffy and a mannequin he found in the dumpster behind Target.I wonder if he is skilled enough to do a stoppie on that bike, and not break the titties off the mannequin.

Wrestling is just a general failure of sportsmanship. It fails all around and the best proof is that WWF crap and Hulk Hogan and his whole family. Sure that stuff may not be real wrestling, but real wrestling is not that much better. Just take a peeksy at the picture at the left. The only cool thing is that the red player is wearing some nice Asics I wouldn’t mind rockin’ but that’s about it. There is also that finger in the butt move, but as funny as it looks, I think there is a lot of that stuff going on in that discipline, especially after the matches… in the shower.

Last but not least lets check out the Olympics Fashion.
Olympic Fashion, in 2008 it seemed that cancer seems to dominate the 10 on the scale of cool, but what will next years bring us? I thing Armstrong with his LiveLong bracelet coolness has kicked something off. I wonder if he even realized that he was on to something… like starting the next biggest fad of having fat obese people feel obligated to wear spandex just because they bike. I giggle a bit when I pass sweaty fatties in a tight fitting clothing cycling around my town. First of all they are no match to my moped, and second of all I’m not limited in what I can wear.

In summation the Summer Olympics in Beijing sucked balls. So Phelps won couple medals, big deal! There are soldiers fighting for our freedoms int he foreign lands and that dude is just chilling in the pool looking all Lurch, I would like to see if he can even toss a grenade through kindergarten schoolhouse window.

Here I present you one of the newest upcoming stars; he’s a good singer, awesome director and also kicks everything up a notch by being sexy.

CNN Political Ticker News:

McCain adviser: Everyone in U.S. has some health coverage

From CNN Associate Political Editor Rebecca Sinderbrand

(CNN) – A health care policy adviser for the McCain campaign told a newspaper reporter that nobody in the United States is technically uninsured, because everyone has access to hospital emergency rooms.

“So I have a solution [to the health care crisis]. And it will cost not one thin dime,” John Goodman, president of the National Center for Policy Analysis, told the Dallas Morning News in an interview published Thursday.

“The next president of the United States should sign an executive order requiring the Census Bureau to cease and desist from describing any American – even illegal aliens – as uninsured. Instead, the bureau should categorize people according to the likely source of payment should they need care. So, there you have it. Voila! Problem solved.”

Hospital emergency rooms cannot technically turn away anyone for financial reasons.

“So instead of producing worthless statistics that people fling around in vacuous editorials and pointless debates, the Census Bureau should produce meaningful numbers, identifying all of the sources of funds people will draw on if they need medical care,” said Goodman, who helped write McCain’s health care plan.

That plan would use a combination of tax incentives and market competition to make health care more affordable. It is not a universal health care plan – it does not guarantee insurance coverage for every American.

See McCain is not a president yet, but he already gets poop done. people crying about not being able to stay healthy, and all this time it was their fault for not dragging their butt to the hospital. But I will admit, I was also one of those that assumed if I don’t carry insurance I’m not welcome anywhere close to health clinic. perhaps it stems from the fact that last year I managed to drag myself to the hospital with crazy stomach pains and they managed to offer me a bed. Sure it was next to the bathroom, In the hallway and only required me to wait in the waiting room for 2 hours, but at the end of the whole escapade my stomach didn’t hurt. I wont mention the fact that no doctor bothered to stop by and offer any comforting words nor a prescription… now I would have to pay for prescription. i would also had to pay for Ambulance if I chose to be smart and get to ER without waiting.

Now, with the news hitting the pavement and all the joyous sickies without insurance rushing to ER I suspect the wait will be even longer. Who knew that we can solve a problem just by changing its definition.

We are humans, we fool each other, and our brains… sure you will agree that the painting is awesome only after you make sure that thousands of other have already expressed the same opinion. Heck people can not differentiate between a $10 bottle of wine vs $90 bottle of fine wine… when they are blind folded and told by these prankster scienticians/statisticians that the cheap Yellowtail is in fact significantly more expensive that the other option. So can humans really differentiate the artistic value of a piece of rock as compared to some sculpture… heck no… they can only judge on the merits of perception of what they believe others perceive the value of…. complicated huh? (Here’s a link to the study)

To ad insult to injury, the prankster scienticians/statisticians took bunch of fools and gave them placebo pills, but told them that half of the pills are mucho more expensive… guess which pills worked better?? (Research here)

What I don’t get is what is the drive for these smart scienticians to prove over and over again that as a human race we are kind of dumb? I mean these people spend crap load of money to at the end victoriously declare that “Now we got scientific studies to prove that humans are only marginally smarter than a squirrel.” Cant they just instead release some intern into Walmart and have them write an essay on what they saw? The conclusion would still be the same… Is it really necessary to spend loot to tell everyone that the sky is blue?

Check these out… heavy cussing in all of the videos below, so if you are squeamish simply don’t click.

Perfect example of what goes around comes around. I applaud  these people, be they far left, far right or far anything… they took their time and YouTube hit it out of the park… Bravo!

Long story short, when I was sitting here fuming and passing judgment, the lilsubwaycrybaby.com folks have been doing research, and not just any research. Instead of tallying up how many times the train was late and then being a crybaby about it, they went further than any mortal man with a crappy job have went… that’s right folks they went into the underground. Now you are probably saying: “Big deal I can walk down the subway tunnel too!” Well you would probably get electrocuted, or ran over by a train, as it is a know fact that Chimbles.com readers walk with a swag… some say its pimping, others blame alcohol as culprit, but we are not here to pass judgment on that. The fact is that LilSubwayCryBaby put in time and effort to assimilate and think like an underground vagrant does, just to gain their trust and expose the underground secrets to you all. Giving up the luxuries of life like listening to the radio, or drinking fancy tap water, or even wearing shoes… LilSubway went all the way, locking the material possessions in storage, and giving up whats good to became one of the dirty ones.

Now I wish I had more detail to tell you on what happened but I don’t know myself… Not to be overshadowed I did some research on my own, scratching my balls and drinking Poland Spring I have researched Pygmies and came to conclusion that they are some crazy mofos! I can tell you thought that when I got in touch with Head Pygmy via AIM he told me that LilSubway has more news coming our way shortly.