Chimble’s Nightly Doodles

As you may also have, I have sat through countless hours in the so called Health Class taught by our coach, and then by some lady that seemed to be only capable of obtaining a job that required the spread of misinformation. 4 Years of HS, every other day we sat there reading books from the 60’s about life, drugs, death, and masturbation. Each of the chapters was even funnier than the one before. And how about that DARE program that made every Thursday of the junior high a brain wash day. Sure some officer pulled up in a Corvette, that was supposedly taken from a drug dealer, but that was about the coolest part.  That role playing seemed to be more of a benefit to the perverse cop than the kids themselves who were now scared shitless to event take a Tylenol for headache.

Anywho, the main premise of those whole miss education about drugs seemed to be that sooner or later some pot head will approach you and give you hits of anything you want, just to hook you on drugs. Even back then I had clear understanding the concept of money, and the fact that no matter how dumb a dopehead is the last thing s/he will do is give away free samples, after all we are not walking here through the isles of foodmart with old lady giving away slices of cheese.

But it is what it is, and supposedly teachers don’t lie, especially cops, who uphold the law of the land, and all the morals out there. However I’m still waiting for my free drugs, perhaps I have not walked enough through the hood, or some dark alley but it feels like I have missed out on something here. I want my drugs damn it!!! So if you are one of the pothead sample people get in touch with me and send me the stuff I have been promised.

Categories : People are crazy!, Your Dark Future // Add Comment »

The recent downturn in world economy had me thinking. How come it seems that some people are just unaffected and they seem to lead their lives like they did before. Here’s me thinking out loud in an attempt to explain our society… get ready for Chimble’s Social Economics Theory.

Lets kick it off with some illustrations:

The lines represent the relationship between effort and reward. Gray line illustrates how much effort people are willing to put and the corresponding reward they can expect from it, which is represented by the red line.

To theorize further:

In general, most people are driven by possession of material things. You want to drive around in a Benz, or your own house thus most likely you will put in more effort to gain that reward. However there are different kinds of people, there are few out there that are not driven by material things, they are simply content with the ability to scrape by day by day, and thus by giving up on expected rewards they can meet minimum living conditions. However as you notice in the graph, the current social structure in U.S. allows for situation where no effort is put out and to still reap benefits. For some it would be easiest illustrated in the form of social welfare structure. People without a job can expect the government to pitch in enough for them to have a roof over their heads and provide them with food. Really nothing more is needed to live day to day. Zero effort, 24 hours a day just dedicated to yourself and you still have the necessary basics. Thus zero effort, but still some reward.

As you move to the right of the graph, start working in a crappy job that pays minimum wage, your life actually becomes harder. The welfare benefits are scaled back now since you make money, but your total rewards go down. Now you spend your earned money on rent and food, which before came with no effort what so ever. And so on as you move further to the right… better job, better rewards, and then you can even reach a point where you only slightly increase your effort but the benefits are exponentially higher… that’s known as a jackpot spot. Chaaa Ching!

 

Categories : Your Dark Future // 2 Comments »

Lately after the 9/11 and all the conspiracy theories one theme has evolved… the government is spying on you! How dare they!! It’s your constitutional right not to be spied on, especially by the gov and big W! Not only are they spying on you from the cover of the bushes, but now with the creation of Department of Defense they are standing right there looking through your window! Well that’s more of a metaphor, but you get the big picture.

WTF?

Wtf is right! How dare the government collect information on you. YOU, the most important person on earth, around whom the whole universe is revolving about! Damned assholes! Myspace is rigged, so is LinkedIn, I wont even mention Facebook, GMAIL, Yahoo search… those tricksters have you fill out your own death warrant. I wont even mention the fact that with that latest crazy legislation they are recording your conversations; be it through the telephone, or through a hidden microphone in a light pole… and you know the technology, I bet they can listen through concrete walls now too. I also have heard that Microsoft gave the Gov a secret back door to the operating system. I bet Bush is stealing your credit card information to pay for the national debt! Why should you carry the whole world on your shoulders? After all you have your own bills to worry about.

Million bazillion bits of data is now streaming to some secret location with information about you, how you behave, what you had for lunch today, and how many times you left the rest room without washing your hands. Operators are standing by just to listen to your phone conversation when you call your third cousin to runt about your bunions for 3 hours. I’m sure they are transcribing and recording every thing you say, even the tone of your voice.

Now I just wonder with all that spying going around, and all the vast amounts of data being stored, who does that? Are there live operators sitting there listing to your conversation and giggling? Are they government employees? If so, do they get those great government benefits like good health insurance, and Dodge Neon with government plates on them just to drive around. Do you think they are in the union? Maybe they even get pistols?

Government, Dubya, if you are listening and recording, please send an application for one of the spy/transcriber positions. I’m sick at working in the pet shop, I think I may have been a bit poisoned when I was stocking those tainted Chinese pet food items. I need a new job. You know my address, and you know my qualifications, and even my GPA… I guess that application would just be a formality then.

Paranoia, it’s so awesome to make fun of… Put On Your Tin Foil Hat!

Categories : People are crazy! // 2 Comments »

Atheism, what is it? Frankly I have no clue, but I sense that neither 90% of people that call themselves atheists. All I know is that its a cloak for many people to go on and bash religions everywhere, especially Christianity. Number one reason for atheists self given right to bash anyone is that X-religion people are always in their face to tell them all about it. Well seems like tables have turned. Seems like every I go its the atheist preaching what ever it is that they believe in… they are not even sure what it is.

Atheism in itself took a new turn and morphed itself into a religion. Everything that they are suppose to be afraid of is used by them to bash religions. (Un) fortunately they have every right to do so, as provided by the constitution. Frankly the atheist claim that religion is a crutch for the weak people is somehow the basis of their own existence, as they use the religion to catapult themselves in the make belief higher plateau and religious superiority.

I can say your religion sucks because I’m an atheist, but as soon as you say my belief in a non-belief is questioned I get my panties in a bunch and claim a violation of my given constitutional right.

Can’t we all just get along? Sure Christians use to promote their religion a lot, but that was back in the day. It seems now that atheists are promoting their superiority far more than Jehovah Witnesses on their bikes going door to door. Give it a rest, let Joe Shmoe believe in god, and let Jane Doe pray to whatever she wishes. If you don’t believe in any of that, that is cool too, but don’t claim your superiority just because of that. We are all humans, and we are all weak, some use religion as a crutch others use drugs or alcohol, but no one person is better than the other especially judged on the merits of what they believe in. Religious fanatics are as clueless as an atheist ever will be.

Categories : People are crazy! // 4 Comments »

To lighten up the mood a bit check  out this cool claymation…

Enjoy!

Categories : Internet is FUNNY // Add Comment »

Westboro Baptist Church  is at it again, this time they are not going to try to hide in the bushes and ruin some soldiers funeral but they are all up in arms over Bernard Jeffrey McCullough  aka Bernie Mac’s funeral.

WTF? Seriously, the man is dead leave him alone! WBC is being it’s 14 year old snotty attention whore self once again. Sure back in the day I gave them the benefit of the doubt, I didn’t agree with them but I know damned well that people are entitled to express their views. Well, that was back when they went to picket their first soldier funeral. But then they did it again, and they came out on the scene acting like they know the best of how life in U.S.A. should be. Unfortunately, even though things are effed up now, I believe if WBC had their way the eff up would be times 4 times (I’m being conservative).

This is just a perfect example of why we need our troops here. You can’t hide crazy behind some religion… why do people still tolerate this? Sure back in the day hick had the balls to lynch black people over crossing the road at a wrong place, but yet there is no one out there that has the balls to castrate these WBC fools?

Luckily for everyone, media doesn’t bother with the Westboro Baptist Church anymore, which is impressive knowing the fact that media will babble just about anything… like Britney Spears farting. And Chimbles.com? Well we don’t have that many readers anyways =P

Categories : People are crazy! // Add Comment »

As it is with fast foods restaurants people always complain that workers there are dirty… I disagree, you dont even know how much BK spends on hygiene training… this guy shows how it really should be done!

AOL News:

Burger King Worker Bathes in Utility Sink
AP

XENIA, Ohio (Aug. 12) - Burger King Corp. said Tuesday it has parted ways with an employee who was recorded taking a soapy bath in the restaurant’s utility sink. The nearly four-minute video, which was posted Thursday on MySpace.com, shows the unidentified employee taking the bath to celebrate his birthday.

The worker, who refers to himself as “Mr. Unstable,” appears to be naked.

Burger King spokeswoman Denise Wilson said two employees involved in the incident were fired and another quit. She declined to identify the employees or say whether the man who took the bath quit or was fired.

The sink is used to clean large pieces of equipment, said Greene Health Commissioner Mark McDonnell. Bacteria or viruses on the skin could have potentially contaminated equipment, but there have been no reports of any customers becoming ill.
McDonnell said he dispatched an inspector to the restaurant, but at that point the restaurant had sterilized the sink.

Miami-based Burger King, the nation’s No. 2 hamburger chain, said in a statement that it also disposed of all kitchen tools and utensils used in the incident and is retraining the staff in health and sanitation procedures.

Xenia is about 15 miles east of Dayton.

2008-08-12 16:30:47

Categories : Internet is FUNNY // Add Comment »

What the hell is this carbon footprint… did someone step on that copier carbon paper or are we talking about coal miners leaving footprints in the mine? I guess it’s the latest buzzword that everyone throws around like a piece of meat. I like buzzwords, they make unimportant things sound very sophisticated like the speaker or the person mumbling them out is a master of some universe… a distant universe where no dictionaries do not exist but long words too. Maybe it’s space babble…

Regardless of what it really means, carbon footprint is on everyone’s mouth, especially the bigger corporations, but the smaller ones are getting on the boat too. Now everyone is conscious about their waste; I’m quite sure that soon the government will restrict you to dropping a duke only once a week… you gotta keep the rest, and let it brew till it’s your time to let it all out. LOL

Funny how before it was them stoned hippies that were the only ones concerned about “mother earth.” Protesting the rain forest cutting and clubbing of little seals. Sure when you already have everything, like a VW bus and some grass it’s quite easy to point at someone who has jack poop and tell them: “Tough luck little buddy, you missed your opportunity, buy my stuff if you want it so bad, but don’t you dare use any resources to make your own.” But now it’s all the suits preaching consciousness about the earth’s resources and clean air. Ohh since suits are doing it, it must be cool, because I want to be just like them well dressed and well paid.

Conveniently, “Reducing Carbon Footprint” runs along with saving resources. No longer paper copies are cool, its all about PDFing and emailing… and all those other things the companies are skimping on in the name of reducing carbon footprint. Do you honestly think they care about the environment? Sure some do, but most do it because it leaves them with more money in their pockets. Have the employees print less, turn off half of the lights in the office, turn off the AC/Heating… have the peons wear sweaters and so on. Coincidentally it results in two things: You as a peon being inconvenience and the big corporate machine saving crazy loot.

Sure at the end everything is supposedly cleaner and better, but why don’t you go suggest to your boss to stop using the corporate jet, or request to telecommute in the name of reducing carbon footprint. Then blush when they laugh at you! Yup have all the peons do all the work.

Categories : People are crazy! // Add Comment »

I love craigslist, its a great way to obtain random stuff at dirt cheap prices. There is never anything you are looking for, but plenty of stuff you weren’t and just then you realize how much you would like the item. It’s also fun to look at casual encounters for anyone you may know… never worked for me but some ads are still hilarious.

However lately I have been seeing a lot of greed on there especially in the form of Title: Free Wood and then in the body it says if you cut down the rotten trees the owner may do you a favor by letting you take all the wood away… Ohh yeah and you better be insured though, because the good will not trust just anyone with their free wood. And there are the ones with “Free Washer and/or Dryer” Free but not working, and they will do you a favor by letting you bring that stuff up three flights of stairs from their basement to the junk yard. I’m sure all kinds of metals are all time high, but so is back surgery.

Now you may say: “hey it will work for poor people, the people that post those ads are kindly hearted.” Kindly hearted my ass! If they are so good, why don’t they do bulk of the work themselves and help people load their problems onto their trucks. Funny how, the kindly hearted are the ones benefiting from this the most. Let’s not be fools, people are greedy, and lazy on top of that. No wonder world looks at that and giggles a bit at the mention of how great things are at the U.S.A.

Categories : People are crazy! // Add Comment »

You have heard it here first! Below is your ticket to continue enjoying those Big Macs and Whoppers… and what ever Wendy’s sell. No more will kids laugh at you as you sweat and breath heavily leaving McDonald’s with bag food of grease; and if they do just whip out the article below and showed it to them. It’s about time you got some respect around here!

Now many probably are yelling out loud: “Don’t you feel like a fool Chimbles, for making fan of fatties… I mean pleasantly plump people!” Aheem no! I suspect this is another ploy by that evil George W. Bush to kick up the economy… cleaver. Very cleaver in fact, I would have not thought of a better idea than that. Now all those 99 cent Burgers will be selling like hot cakes, but I suspect the wait in the ER is about to get longer too.

Read on!

Reuters News:

Fit and fat: US study shows it’s possible By Maggie Fox, Health and Science Editor

WASHINGTON, Aug 11 (Reuters) - It may be possible to be both fat and healthy, researchers reported on Monday, for at least half of overweight adults, and close to a third of obese men and women, have normal blood pressure, cholesterol and other measures of heart health.

And being lean does not necessarily protect people, either. Close to a quarter of normal-weight U.S. adults in one study had risk factors for heart disease or diabetes.

“We really don’t know as much about obesity as we think we do,” Judith Wylie-Rosett of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, who oversaw the study, said in a telephone interview.

“A considerable proportion of overweight and obese U.S. adults are metabolically healthy, whereas a considerable proportion of normal-weight adults express a clustering of cardiometabolic abnormalities,” Wylie-Rosett and Rachel Wildman and colleagues wrote in their report, published in the journal Archives of Internal Medicine.

Wylie-Rosett’s team looked at data on 5,440 men and women who were examined and filled out questionnaires for the National Health and Nutritional Examination Surveys between 1999 and 2004. Most did not exercise very much.

They found just over 51 percent of those who were overweight, and 31.7 percent of those who were obese, had healthy levels of cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressure and other measures linked to heart disease.

These measures have been shown in many other studies to predict heart attacks, strokes, diabetes and other heart disease, although this particular study did not look at whether people suffered any of these problems.

OBESE YET HEALTHY

More than 23 percent of those who were at a healthy weight, as measured by body mass index, had two or more unhealthy readings, the researchers found.

“Our study shows you can still be healthy even if you are obese,” Wylie-Rosett said.

Her team did not look at people’s diets, but she believes the location of body fat is as important as how much there is. Many studies have shown that having visceral fat, in and among the internal organs, may be more dangerous than having fat thighs or buttocks.

But when Wylie-Rosett’s team measured waist circumference, a common way to estimate visceral fat, more than 36 percent of the obese people with what should have been dangerously large waists had healthy blood test results.

A second study suggested that the liver may be the key.

Dr. Norbert Stefan and colleagues at the University of Tubingen in Germany closely examined 314 people, using magnetic resonance imaging to look at precisely how much body fat they had and where it was.

They also found that obese men and women could have healthy hearts and arteries and suggested that having fat on the liver may be what makes the difference.

“Altogether, 10 percent of the study population and 25 percent of the obese subjects had a high insulin sensitivity phenotype or ‘metabolically benign obesity,’” they wrote in their Archives report.

“Our data suggest that ectopic fat accumulation in the liver may be more important than visceral fat in the determination of such a beneficial phenotype in obesity,” they wrote.

“That’s an area that we are very intrigued with as well,” Wylie-Rosett said,” adding: “If you start stuffing people with calories, it is very much like making pate from goose liver.”

Geese are often force-fed to make their livers fatty and thus more suitable for pate-making.

(Editing by Will Dunham and Philip Barbara)

I suspect U.S. will be back on the track of leading the World in FAT!

Categories : Chimbles News, People are crazy!, Your Dark Future // Add Comment »