Chimble’s Nightly Doodles

The government is spying on you!

Posted on August 21st, 2008 by Chimbles

Lately after the 9/11 and all the conspiracy theories one theme has evolved… the government is spying on you! How dare they!! It’s your constitutional right not to be spied on, especially by the gov and big W! Not only are they spying on you from the cover of the bushes, but now with the creation of Department of Defense they are standing right there looking through your window! Well that’s more of a metaphor, but you get the big picture.

WTF?

Wtf is right! How dare the government collect information on you. YOU, the most important person on earth, around whom the whole universe is revolving about! Damned assholes! Myspace is rigged, so is LinkedIn, I wont even mention Facebook, GMAIL, Yahoo search… those tricksters have you fill out your own death warrant. I wont even mention the fact that with that latest crazy legislation they are recording your conversations; be it through the telephone, or through a hidden microphone in a light pole… and you know the technology, I bet they can listen through concrete walls now too. I also have heard that Microsoft gave the Gov a secret back door to the operating system. I bet Bush is stealing your credit card information to pay for the national debt! Why should you carry the whole world on your shoulders? After all you have your own bills to worry about.

Million bazillion bits of data is now streaming to some secret location with information about you, how you behave, what you had for lunch today, and how many times you left the rest room without washing your hands. Operators are standing by just to listen to your phone conversation when you call your third cousin to runt about your bunions for 3 hours. I’m sure they are transcribing and recording every thing you say, even the tone of your voice.

Now I just wonder with all that spying going around, and all the vast amounts of data being stored, who does that? Are there live operators sitting there listing to your conversation and giggling? Are they government employees? If so, do they get those great government benefits like good health insurance, and Dodge Neon with government plates on them just to drive around. Do you think they are in the union? Maybe they even get pistols?

Government, Dubya, if you are listening and recording, please send an application for one of the spy/transcriber positions. I’m sick at working in the pet shop, I think I may have been a bit poisoned when I was stocking those tainted Chinese pet food items. I need a new job. You know my address, and you know my qualifications, and even my GPA… I guess that application would just be a formality then.